Financial Stress: 5 Ways Couples Can Survive and Prosper
Posted: Monday, April 20, 2009
by Krystal Kuehn
New Day Counseling
All couples face financial stress at one time or another. Financial stress is not only caused by a lack of money or work, it also results from different spending styles, money management, and ways of coping with stress and life challenges. It can lead to major relationship problems and even separation. Money matters are one of the most common causes for divorce. When a financial crisis occurs, couples are forced to cope with changes that can be uncomfortable or cause one or both partners to feel resentment towards the other. The strain can lead to increased irritability, pressure, insecurity, and fear.
Increased conflict & irritability
Distancing/Withdrawal
Fears, worries, insecurities
Blame and Underlying resentment
Depression/Anxiety
Physical symptoms/illness
Decreased affection/Sex life
Problems with changing roles & lifestyle
Following are some tips to help couples better cope with financial challenges that put strain on their relationship.
1. The first thing couples must do is come in agreement that they will make it through this challenge together. They are to see each other as partners. They are in this together. They are a team and together they will overcome.
2. If there are underlying issues of blame and anger, they need to be dealt with as soon as possible until there is a resolve to work together without resentment and/or unforgiveness.
3. Couples must accept the challenge as another way that their relationship will be put to the test. Reaffirming their commitment to each other despite what they are going through will help them to keep their focus and priorities straight.
4. Rather than shut down or withdraw, couples ought to communicate their feelings to each other. Communicating feelings of anxiety or pressure allows them to offer the support, comfort, and hope that is needed and can help significantly in coping with the situation.
5. Couples can help each other maintain an attitude that is hopeful and positive. Couples that pray together, stay together. Rather than focusing on the problem, couples can focus on the solution. Instead of talking about how bad things are or how bad they can get, couples can make the best of the situation and focus on the good things they do have. They can set new goals to make things better. They can brainstorm new ways of spending time together without spending much money. They can find new ways to connect and enjoy each other.
The strain on relationships caused by financial stress does not need to damage or destroy them. Instead, it can and will make them stronger if couples are willing to work with each other as they go through the process together of adjusting to the changes, and accepting new roles and different lifestyles. And, keep believing that things can and will get better. Tough times don't last forever. Things will get better if they do not give up on each other and the situation. Couples who work together during trying times ultimately find that their relationships become stronger and more fulfilling.
C2009 Krystal Kuehn
I wrote this article in response to an interview for The Detroit News. To read more on the topic, check out the published article: "Worried about money, sex, kids? Be a Team" by Erin Chan Ding (The Detroit News and Free Press, April 19, 2009).
Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist , author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling , a family marriage counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com , an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems , baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy!
This Article has been viewed 1,688 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Some great points Krystal, very timely given the current state of the economy. I'm sure your article will help a lot of people.
Krystal, this is a wonderfully informative article. You have come out with some very helpful and interesting points. There is no doubt that money issues can cause family issues. Thanks for sharing.And Welcome to Searchwarp.Sandra
Thanks, Krystal, for these very helpful and clear ideas about avoiding or overcoming financial stress in marriage. ~mogama~
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.